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Creighton the Cretin

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Creighton the Cretin
Creighton the Cretin.png
Gender Male
Actor None

Creighton the Cretin is a comic created by Greg after quitting Zoo-Wee Mama! Greg submits the comic to the school newspaper, and Mr. Ira publishes it after making "minor" changes, completely changing the comic and renaming it to Creighton the Curious Student. In Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules, the comic artist job is open after Rowley quits to play with his Dinoblazer Action Figures. Greg then re-submits Creighton the Cretin with a new comic inspired by him teaming up with Scotty Douglas for a magic act.

An original Creighton the Cretin strip is featured in The Wimpy Kid Do-It-Yourself Book, along with two variants titled Creighton the Comedian and Creighton the Dinosaur.


Creighton the Cretin[edit]

  • Creighton introduces himself to a boy, who tells him that his name is "Stewart Pid." Creighton then calls himself "Stew Pid," and is confused when the boy laughs.
  • Creighton wonders what is inside a box. A boy then tells him that the box is actually a brick, and Creighton responds, "Oops. I have been trying to open it all day."
  • Creighton asks his doctor for a new butt, since his has a crack. The doctor responds that everyone's butt has a crack in it, and Creighton comments, "Oh yeah, I forgot."
  • Creighton announces that he is about to make an apple disappear, then takes a bite out of it. The audience points out that he did not eat the whole thing. Creighton then uses a lighter, calling it magic. An audience member shouts "Boo! You're not a magician, you're an idiot!" and the other one points out that Creighton is wearing an Abraham Lincoln hat, not a magician's hat.
  • A lady asks Creighton why he put an English muffin in the DVD player. Creighton answers that he thought it was a toaster, and was wondering why it took so long to pop out.

Creighton the Curious Student[edit]

  • Creighton asks his teacher a math problem. After he solves it, Creighton reminds the readers to visit Mr. Humphrey to learn more about math and to visit the Math and Science section of the library. According to Greg, the original comic had Creighton eating his math test and his teacher yelling at him.

Creighton the Comedian[edit]

  • Creighton asks, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" When an audience member asks why, he answers that he hoped one of them would know.
  • Creighton tells a knock-knock joke, with the punchline being "Creighton is here." A man in the audience yells that the joke is not funny, and Creighton then tries to tell a joke about a chicken crossing a road, but messes it up. A woman in the audience shouts, "These jokes are terrible!" Creighton then does "Wacky Headlines," reading news about a homeless shelter burning down, a man being eaten by an alligator, and a plane wreck killing seven people, which the audience finds tragic instead of funny. Creighton says, "Oops. I thought they were 'wacky'" as the audience insults him and a voice off-panel calls, "Next!"

Creighton the Dinosaur[edit]

  • The kids in the audience ask Creighton to sing a song. He sings, "You should smell this costume's feets, I ain't washed it in six weeks," which the kids think "ruin[s] their imaginations" and find "totally inappropriate."