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The Motel

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The Motel is a small, cheap motel that appears in The Long Haul. It is unclean and run-down, and its two advertised features are a pool and air-conditioning. The Heffley Family stays here one night during the events of the story. The beardos are also introduced here.


Greg and his family pulled over at The Motel, since it was getting late. There were no other good hotels nearby, so it was their only option. Greg notes that the lobby smelled like mildew, and the carpet was covered with stains. When they got to the room, it reeked of smoke, and there were marks (possibly cigar burns) on the bed sheets, but due to the 24-hour cancellation policy the family was unable to leave. They stripped down the mattress, and Susan and Frank tried going to sleep. Greg and Rodrick went to the pool, but it had no water. There was also a hot tub that the beardos were already using, so they returned to the room, where Rodrick fell asleep. Greg was about to sleep, but was woken up by a loud, repeating crash. He found the Beardo kids had stolen the cleaning cart and were joyriding it. Greg got out of the room and scolded them, causing the youngest one to cry, and go back to his room to get his father. However, "Mr. Beardo" (as Greg calls him) knocked on the wrong door because he didn't see which one Greg went into. The next day, the Heffleys go to the Highway 1 Country Fair.